Primary color missing, local school kids blue


I can’t really explain this, but, here it is – another Watley story.

Primary color missing, local school kids blue

BALLWINVILLE, MO – Freshly groomed children saddled with over-stuffed back packs, familiar yellow buses ambling through neighborhood streets, panicked shuffling as bells ring out the start of class…all scenes from a typical back to school year. Only this year, for one area school district, it is different.

“I don’t know what happened,” lamented Mary Lou Wilson, a pig-tailed first grader at Rolling Hills Elementary. “When we packed up my crayon box yesterday, he was there. Now, he isn’t. I really miss him,” Mary Lou said holding back tears. “I can’t draw sky.”

Mary Lou, like hundreds of other mystified students in the Rockhill School District, opened their crayon boxes only to discover blue missing from the usual assortment of colors.

“This is very disturbing,” an angry district superintendent Chuck Cousins said. “As you can imagine, we rely on the color blue quite a lot in our curriculum. For God’s sake, blue is a primary color. To have that color missing really puts a damper on our teaching abilities.” Cousins indicated the school district was working hand in hand with local authorities to quickly solve the mystery. For the time being, the district will substitute aquamarine for blue.

There are not many explanations for the absence of blue, but some suspect foul play. One area resident, Vera Owens, notified police as she discovered dozens of soggy blue crayon wrappers scattered among strange ice cube size cement blocks that had washed up on the shoreline of a large lake on her property.

Local authorities had little to add, but did confirm the lake was being drained. “We really can not comment on the blue situation,” said Detective John Phillips. “We are looking into the reports from Owens Lake and depending on what we discover this case may develop into something larger. We have a few leads but have questioned no one at this time.” The detective said for now the missing color appears isolated to this one school district,

Some people were indifferent to the missing blue. “Blue isn’t that big of a deal. I mean, sure blue’s a primary color, but it’s not like it’s a gemstone or anything,” local jewelry store owner Scott Merrs commented. “Plus, I’m really glad to see aquamarine get its do. It really is a much calmer, more peaceful color. We sell a lot of it.

Others shared the anti-blue sentiment. “Let me tell you something,” said one non-primary color who requested anonymity. “Blue was a pompous ass. He was an elitist, always looking down his nose at the other colors. He made sure to let you know he the most popular color and that kids loved him because he so cheerful and happy. Man, he would rub your face in it. It was sick.” The color didn’t rule out the possibility of foul play. “Blue always thought aquamarine was poaching on his turf. They had a lot of fights and some nasty ones too. Mind you, I ain’t saying I know what’s going on, because I don’t, but I think blue got what was coming to him.”

It is a sad start to a promising school year in this Midwestern town, a generation of kids that will grow up using red, green, yellow and aquamarine as their primary colors. “It’s just not right,” a somber superintendent Cousins said.

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