Stupid Mayans


Well it would seem the World didn’t end today, which I must say puts a torpedo in my apocalypse hedging strategy.  So, thanks to the crackpot Mayans, I will need to immediately address:

  1. The stack of bills I have been accumulating. I hope those nice bill collectors are understanding. Bank of America seems to have a sense of humor. I read their 10-Q’s.
  2. Christmas shopping for the family. T -72 hour mark, no problem. Has Amazon developed quantum-state delivery yet?
  3. Groceries – I guess we will now need to keep eating, even though we face the grim reality of a post-twinke civilization.

If that isn’t bad enough, I will also need to work through the long-range plans I didn’t plan on needing.

  1. Kid’s college tuition – I keep telling them that Judge Smails from Caddyshack had it right – “The world needs ditch diggers, Danny.”
  2. Retirement planning – I will have to renew practicing for my post-retirement job – “Welcome to WalMart, would you like to open a checking account today or buy live bait?”
  3. Senior-age Health Care – Pretty sure I won’t need it. My kids seem to have started really caring as I go up and down the steps. I appreciate the way they jostle and push me for encouragement. Maybe they did hear #1.

So there it is, thanks to the Mayan’s awful grasp on planetary destruction, my life just got significantly more depressing. Last time I listen to an extinct society.

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