Well it would seem the World didn’t end today, which I must say puts a torpedo in my apocalypse hedging strategy. So, thanks to the crackpot Mayans, I will need to immediately address:
- The stack of bills I have been accumulating. I hope those nice bill collectors are understanding. Bank of America seems to have a sense of humor. I read their 10-Q’s.
- Christmas shopping for the family. T -72 hour mark, no problem. Has Amazon developed quantum-state delivery yet?
- Groceries – I guess we will now need to keep eating, even though we face the grim reality of a post-twinke civilization.
If that isn’t bad enough, I will also need to work through the long-range plans I didn’t plan on needing.
- Kid’s college tuition – I keep telling them that Judge Smails from Caddyshack had it right – “The world needs ditch diggers, Danny.”
- Retirement planning – I will have to renew practicing for my post-retirement job – “Welcome to WalMart, would you like to open a checking account today or buy live bait?”
- Senior-age Health Care – Pretty sure I won’t need it. My kids seem to have started really caring as I go up and down the steps. I appreciate the way they jostle and push me for encouragement. Maybe they did hear #1.
So there it is, thanks to the Mayan’s awful grasp on planetary destruction, my life just got significantly more depressing. Last time I listen to an extinct society.